Will a good girl always remain good…

How do people measure one’s character? How will someone become good, respectable and responsible person? Will a good person always remain good? How does one become good ? By not getting any rebellious thoughts or being able to control that rebellious thoughts and not acting on it?

   Is someone who is selfish and self-centered considered bad? What matters more being good in front of society, family and friends or being good to our self. What gives us peace, contentment and what makes us un desirable, unsuitable and irresponsible? 

   All these crazy questions are plaguing my mind. ( Obviously when the world around me is asleep and I’m left with my hyper active and over rested brain in a dark room.) So as usual my pains are back making me crazy but now with all the time in my hands (ranout of interesting books to read for now) and being bed ridden is giving me new ideas. So far I’m a good girl who is responsible blah blah as far as my relatives and friends are concerned. It’s a whole different story if you ask my husband or my mom.

   So will my character rating get degraded if I act on my rebellious, crazy ideas is the point of debate. Ofcourse all my ideas revolve around absconding duration and destination to be considered later. Can I take the risk or chance to act on it? Can I for once in my life take a spontaneous action without thinking about its repercussions? Can I let go? Isn’t it a selfish act from me? Doesn’t that make me irresponsible? Why should I even bother about what others think ? 

  Maybe this is why I have RA in the first place I over think about everything and act on nothing making my life stressful, boring and predictable

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